


Forever by my side in this ride

by hopefuldelusion



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Coronavirus, Friends to Lovers, Isolation, Living Together, M/M, Quarantine, Roommates, They just need to realize it, best friends au, falling asleep, fluff and comfort, idk this is the first thing I’ve ever finished writing, there’s also fluff, they love each other a lot, this got slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefuldelusion/pseuds/hopefuldelusion
Summary: Robbe and Sander have been best friends for years, going through everything together. Things are great, until Antwerp is put under lockdown and the two roommates are forced to face something they had never thought too hard about.Or: Robbe and Sander are best friends and roommates, coronavirus has forced them to be quarantined together and some things happen to make them realize maybe they are actually meant to be more than friends.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 5
Kudos: 165





	Forever by my side in this ride

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo this is the first fic I think I’ve ever finished in my life, I got this idea for a short one shot and some how it got a little out of hand. This is kind of a mess so please be kind, I think it turned out pretty good considering I have had literally nothing else to do, please let me know what you think in the comments! Stay safe everyone. 
> 
> Title is from “No need for dreaming” by MisterWives. A great listen for a happy ending!

Robbe and Sander were always that. Robbe and Sander. They met when they were 14 and 16 when Sander moved into the house next door. They became fast friends and were soon inseparable.

The years went on and this didn’t change much. Robbe and Sander went through everything together, Robbe’s moms illness, Sander getting diagnosed bipolar, Robbe’s coming out. Through it all they remained close friends even to the point of rooming together when Robbe joined Sander at college.

Things were good, Sander was with Britt and Robbe was content with where he was in life. He had great friends and he loved his classes. 

When Sander and Britt broke up, Robbe really didn’t think much of it. They had done this so many times before, it was only a matter of time before she was knocking on the door and they were back together. 

Except, that wasn’t going to happen, because the world was changing and now all of Antwerp was under lockdown due to the international pandemic. 

Robbe was sad that this meant that he couldn’t go to classes anymore or see his other friends, but he was glad that if there was anyone for him to be quarantined with it was Sander.

They both agreed that they were in this together and whatever happened in the world, they were going to be okay. 

So they isolated, they spent their days doing coursework online and watching movies, Sander always made movies more enjoyable.

The days seemed endless but they always found ways to fill in the gaps, either playing games or listening to music, Sander was the best person Robbe could’ve been stuck with. 

It was good until it wasn’t. 

Two weeks into the lockdown, Sander started feeling down, and without his usual habits of going to the gym or the art studio on campus, he was stuck at home with his thoughts. 

Robbe did his best, he’d been friends with Sander long enough to have a pretty good understanding of how to help him through these times. 

Except this was different, because Sander did everything he could to avoid Robbe, even in their tiny apartment. He locked himself in his room for days at a time and Robbe didn’t know how to help him through it. 

He thought about calling Britt, maybe seeing if that would cheer him up regardless of Robbe’s own thoughts towards the girl. But he decided that if Sander wanted to talk to her then he would do that on his own, and for now Robbe would do his best from afar. 

After 3 days of not seeing Sander, Robbe decided to try a different approach. His own insomnia had been acting up recently so after tossing and turning for hours, at 3 in the morning he finally decided to get up and finish out the night in the living room. 

He laid on the couch and hoped, hoped that he might catch a glimpse of Sander coming out to get some sort of food, early enough that he expected Robbe to not be out of his room yet.

At around 5, Sander’s door slowly opened and he emerged. He was only wearing a t-shirt and his boxers, a look that Robbe had grown accustomed to. His hair was sticking in every direction and even in the distance Robbe could see the dark circles under his eyes.

Sander didn’t notice him at first, but Robbe didn’t want to feel like he was spying so he quietly cleared his throat, Sander startled at the noise but quickly recovered when he found the source. 

“Hey” Robbe tried, he was so tired himself that he didn’t expect there to be much conversation. 

“Hi” Sander replied. He grabbed a glass of water and without another word joined Robbe on the couch, sitting where Robbe’s feet lay. He gently laid Robbe’s feet onto his lap and sipped at his water. Robbe watched him but didn’t want to be the first to speak, knowing that if Sander wasn’t up for it, it wasn’t going to be useful. 

Sander’s head rested on the back of the couch, he set the water glass down and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry I’m not spending more time with you right now, you must be so bored” he said. He rested his hands on Robbe’s feet and slowly moved them back and forth. 

Robbe’s entire body relaxed at the contact. “It’s okay. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.” He answered. 

Robbe realized then that he was growing more tired by the second. He didn’t expect Sander to reply so he closed his eyes to see if sleep would take him now, even in the early morning light.

Sander’s touch on his feet continued and Robbe felt sleep coming, he couldn’t explain it but just those few sentences from Sander had managed to calm his mind and put his body at ease. The steady movement on his feet grounded him and before he knew it, he was drifting off to the rhythm of it.

Robbe woke up hours later feeling rested and warm. He felt a weight behind his back that he didn’t recognize and upon further inspection he realized it was Sander. He was sleeping behind Robbe on the couch, he body mirroring Robbe’s except his feet were near Robbe’s head. Sander’s hand still held on to Robbe’s foot and Robbe wondered how he had been able to sleep though all of the movement. 

This wasn’t the first time that they had drifted off on the couch together, it was pretty normal for them to doze off during movies and eventually retreat to their respective rooms. However, this contact was different for Robbe. It wasn’t much, but Sander’s grip on his foot was strong and grounding, and that was new. 

Robbe didn’t dare move and wake him up, he only shifted slightly so he could try to catch a glance of Sander’s face. Sander’s mouth was slightly parted and his breathing was steady, he looked so peaceful in his sleep and Robbe only hoped that his dreams were being kind to him.

After just staring at him for a little while, Sander started to stir. His hand that was holding Robbe’s foot gently squeezed it and soon his eyes opened. He seemed to immediately notice his grip and gently removed it, Robbe didn’t want to think about how much he actually missed the feeling of Sander’s hands on him. 

“Morning” Robbe said. He then shifted so that he was sitting up, Sander’s legs still rested behind him on the couch. Robbe rubbed at his face and stood up stretching, when he looked back at Sander he had a strange look on his face, one that Robbe couldn’t read. “I’m going to make coffee, do you want some?” He asked. 

“No, I think I’m going to go lay down in my room, I’m still really tired.” Sander replied. He didn’t make any move to get up but Robbe suspected that he would leave when Robbe went to the kitchen. 

“Okay” Robbe said, “if you need anything let me know.” And with that he left to make the coffee. 

Robbe knew that Sander needed his time when he was in a bad place and he respected it. But he also knew that all he wanted to do was help him, Sander was his favorite person in the world and he wished he could just wrap him in his arms and make all of his worries go away. 

Robbe returned to the couch with his coffee and sure enough Sander had left, Robbe tried not to feel sad about the loss and put the tv on to occupy himself. 

***

Robbe had only dated one boy since his coming out. His name was Nathan and he was kind and sweet, but it never felt right to Robbe. They dated for a couple months before he broke it off.

The night he ended things he wasn’t really all that upset. He came home to find Sander making dinner in the kitchen, when Sander heard him he turned towards him with a smile. It was this moment that Robbe realized he did the right thing breaking up with Nathan. Somehow, Sander’s smile made him feel more than any kiss or touch the other boy had given him in their time together. 

“Hey!” Sander said, “why are you back so early? I thought you had a date?” 

Robbe noticed how Sander dropped everything to give him his undivided attention, the dinner on the stove forgotten. 

“I did. But I actually ended things.” Robbe replied. He moved to sit at their small kitchen table while he took off his jacket.

“Oh.” Sander turned back to the food, it must have been done because he turned everything off and came and sat across from Robbe. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah” Robbe said. “I think it was the right thing, it never really felt right.” 

Sander gave him a small smile, “well then I’m glad, I never really liked him all that much.” He softly laughed to himself and it made Robbe laugh as well. 

“What?! You always went on about how great he was!” 

“Oh Robbe” Sander stood back up and grabbed two plates from the cupboard, putting food on them both. “I only said that because I thought he made you happy. If that wasn’t the case, then I don’t have any reason to like him.” 

This made Robbe pause for a moment. He thought back on Sander’s interactions with Nathan. He thought about how Sander joked with him and was always so kind to him. He thought about how Sander really did seem so happy for him when Robbe would go on and on about him at the beginning. 

Sander brought the plates over and sat one in front of Robbe. “I hope you’re hungry” he said while he sat down in front of his own plate. 

“Thank you.” Robbe smiled at him again. Sander always surprised him, he made him feel at home and safe, even when he probably didn’t deserve it. 

Sander nodded in reply and quietly ate his food. Robbe took a bite and it was delicious, just simple chicken and pasta but it made Robbe appreciate Sander even more. 

“This is amazing Sander, seriously, thank you.” Robbe looked him in the eyes when he said it and Sander seemed caught off guard by the complement because he bowed his head and only continued chewing on his food.

“You deserve to be happy Robbe. I’m glad you broke up with him if it makes you happier.” He said simply. 

Robbe didn’t reply, he only continued eating and then he helped sander clean up the food. They moved together in the kitchen seamlessly, having lived together for a year already. 

After things were cleaned up, they moved to the couch. They didn’t have to talk about it much, this was their routine by now. If they didn’t have classes or prior engagements the following day, they watched shows together until they either fell asleep on the couch or one of them shook the other awake to go to their respective rooms. 

It was a good night in Robbe’s mind. 

***

Later that night, Sander came out of his room again. Robbe hadn’t really left the couch much, he had grabbed his laptop so he could work on school work and he had been doing that for most of the day.

Sander didn’t say anything, he only came and sat next to Robbe on the couch. He positioned himself close to Robbe and he seemed to be waiting for something because he didn’t immediately try to get comfortable, he only sat straight up and looked forward. 

Robbe set his laptop down on the table and leaned back against the couch. He knew that sometimes Sander just needed to take some time before he was ready to talk so Robbe gave him that. 

Without a word, Sander slowly leaned his body on Robbe’s. Resting his head on Robbe’s shoulder whiles his arm was flat against Robbe’s. Robbe stilled only for a second, then he shifted to hopefully make it more comfortable. 

This was new, this was not something that they did, at least not while they were awake. When they fell asleep they would sometimes shift in their sleep and be touching in innocent ways like this, but never when they were awake. 

Robbe felt every nerve ending on his right side light up where Sander rested on him. 

Finally, Sander spoke, “thank you for always being here. I don’t think I could get through this without you.” 

Robbe felt his heart melting. Sander was just so sweet, and Robbe knew he would do just about anything to make him feel better. So he moved his right arm to wrap it around Sander’s back. Robbe squeezed his shoulder and Sander nuzzled even further into Robbe’s side, his nose brushed Robbe’s neck and Robbe had to carefully focus on his breathing. 

Robbe didn’t know what was happening to him, but he suddenly felt so much love and adoration sweep over him. He knew that he loved Sander, but this moment was making that friendship love feel like a lot more than he had previously thought. 

“Anything you need, I’m here.” Robbe said, he slowly rested his own head on top of Sander’s causing Sander to shift his own arm to wrap around Robbe’s waist. Robbe sighed contentedly. This was one of the best moments Robbe could ever think of, he wanted to bottle this feeling to hold on to it forever. 

They stayed like this for a while, Robbe only moved his hand to gently draw circles on sanders shoulder. The tv played quietly in front of them but neither of them paid it much mind. 

Again, before Robbe knew it, his eyes were drooping and he was falling asleep in the most safe and comfortable place he had ever been. 

***

When Robbe first met Sander, they got along almost instantly. The moving trucks arrived and Robbe can still remember the fist time he saw his best friend. He was still brunette at the time, slightly shorter than he is now, but all the same charismatic boy Robbe still knows today. 

Sander carried a notebook under his arm that Robbe would later learn was a sketchbook. He watched him from his window and remembers the moment Sander looked up and their eyes met. 

Later that day, Robbe brought out his skateboard and was doing tricks on his driveway. Sander came out of his house and walked towards him. “Hey, skater boy” he greeted him. 

Robbe stopped what he was doing and met the other boy half way between their driveways. “Hi, I’m Robbe.” He introduced himself. 

“Sander” they shook hands and that was that. 

After their first meeting they would always hang out after school. Robbe would drag Sander with him to the skatepark with Jens and Sander would drag Robbe on bike rides around their neighborhood and through town. 

They grew close quickly and even when things were bad, they had each other. 

When Robbe was 15, his mother started getting worse. Robbe didn’t know how to talk about it but somehow Sander understood this, he invited Robbe over for dinner most nights and that would turn into Robbe spending the night, he practically moved in with Sander for a few weeks. 

Sander would distract Robbe from all of his worries, they would play video games or watch movies. Sander would draw and show Robbe all of his drawings. Robbe cherished these days and the best friend he never knew he needed. 

Everything hit the fan eventually and Robbe’s mom was sent to a care facility. Sander’s parents took over and told Robbe that he could stay as long as he needed to. So he did, he stayed with Sander until his mother was well enough to come home and then he felt so lucky, because he had his mother back and he still had Sander, he had everything. 

When Sander was 18 it came crashing down again, and this time it was Robbe’s turn to step up. 

Sander had always been restless, but things changed when he didn’t sleep for four days and finally, after he ran away naked in the middle of the night, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

Robbe was there, because of course he was. Sander tried to push, tried to tell Robbe that he wasn’t worth it, that it all wasn’t worth it, but Robbe refused to listen. Sander slept for a week straight afterwards and Robbe stayed with him, he slept in his bed with him at night to make sure he didn’t try to leave, and then during the day he went to school. Every night, Robbe always came back, and he would come back every time until Sander felt like less of a burden on the ones who loved him.

Robbe would tell him, “You changed my life Sander Driesen, you made it all worth it. So I’m going to try to prove to you that it is worth it for you to stay here, because I couldn’t do this without you.” 

Sander never answered but this would soon become the thing that Robbe always reminded him, he was the best part of Robbe’s life, and he never wanted him to forget it.

*

When Robbe was 17 he was going through multiple internal battles. Sander and him were still close but Sander went to uni now so Robbe saw him less. 

Robbe was also dealing with the fact that his other best friend, Jens, was looking very different to him lately. Robbe wasn’t sure when it started but he noticed himself looking at Jens more than he should’ve. He tried dating girls, Noor was nice but it was never going to work.

Eventually he broke, Sander had invited him over to hang out one day, and Robbe really didn’t want to go, he just wanted to lock himself away in his shame. But he went, and somehow Sander got him to spill it all, because Sander was the one person that Robbe knew would never leave. 

“I like boys the way that I’m supposed to like girls.” Robbe whispered, after they had turned the lights out and were ready to fall asleep, he thought it would be easier if he couldn’t see Sander’s face.

“I like boys the same way I like girls.” Sander replied. Simple, to the point, so Sander. 

“I think I’m in love with Jens.” Robbe told him, “it’s why I’m so out of it lately, I can’t get it out of my head.” 

Sander sat up and turned the light on so they could see. “Robbe, there is nothing wrong with that, I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me.” 

Robbe started crying then, the floodgates opened and he couldn’t do much but let it happen. “It is wrong though, he’s with Jana and I can’t even look at them, I’m the worst friend.” Robbe choked out around sobs. 

Sander moved to hug him then, rubbing his back and speaking into his ear. “Robbe you are the best friend I have ever had, you can’t control what you feel and that’s okay, as long as you’re respectful of their relationship it’s all going to be okay, we don’t know what the future holds.” 

Sander hugged him and hugged him until his tears stopped, then once Robbe fell asleep, he rolled over and shut off the light.

That night was the safest Robbe had ever felt, and he realized then that it was all going to be okay, if he had Sander then everything was going to be okay.

*

As time went on, Robbe slowly realized that his adoration for Jens probably wasn’t as deep as he thought. He loved Jens as a friend but he soon discovered that he really didn’t see him as more than that, it was only his own mind trying to come to terms with how he felt about boys in general. 

After he had the realization, he came out to the rest of his friends. They were all surprisingly okay with it and it was never as big of a deal as he expected it to be. 

He made out with some boys at parties but never really anything else until he met Nathan. 

When Robbe decided to go to uni as well, Sander asked him to go in on an apartment together, and Robbe couldn’t refuse. 

Moving in with Sander was perfect, they were already best friends and they had also already lived together for a while when Robbe’s mom was struggling, it just seemed like the best idea. 

They understood each other, Robbe knew that sander woke up early some days to go for a run so he made sure to listen to music with headphone late at night. Sander knew that if Robbe was able to sleep at night then he would often sleep in until the early afternoon, so he made sure to be quiet when he woke up before the other boy. 

Robbe couldn’t imagine living with anybody else, Sander was truly the only person that Robbe felt understood him completely. 

***

The next few days in isolation went by more or less the same, Sander was slowly starting to feel more like himself but it was difficult because he couldn’t go out like he normally would to help himself feel better. 

Robbe did his best to keep things lively for him though, Robbe planned a movie night with a list of movies that he knew made Sander happy. He made popcorn and milkshakes for them to have during the movie and Sander smiled and laughed throughout the night. Robbe felt incredibly accomplished. 

They ended the night the same way they had the other night, drifting off on the couch together before they begrudgingly made their way to their respective rooms. 

The following morning, Sander woke up earlier than Robbe and made breakfast, Robbe knew this was a good sign because Sander only cooked when he was feeling good. 

Breakfast included; eggs, toast, and bacon and Robbe could smell it before he even walked out of his room. 

“You did all this?” Robbe asked. He wasn’t fully awake yet, the clock just hitting 9, making it an early morning for him.

“Yeah, it’s not really all that much though.” Sander replied. He plated the food and set two plates on the kitchen table. “I just wanted to thank you, I know I haven’t been the easiest to be around lately and you have been amazing through everything.” 

Robbe bowed his head to hide the blush he could feel forming. Him and Sander complemented each other often, but for some reason now it was starting to feel different. 

“I was just doing what anyone would do.” Robbe said.

Sander looked him straight in the eyes as he replied, “no Robbe, not everybody would do what you do, you manage to make it feel a lot more manageable when I’m feeling that way.” 

Robbe didn’t know what to say. He knew that Sander enjoyed his company but he realized he might not know the full extent of it. He took a bite of his eggs and nodded his head, “thank you for breakfast, I love when you cook.” Robbe finally said. 

“You’re welcome.” 

With that they ate, forgetting the serious moment before and talking about random things, like the movie they watched the night before and the new board game Robbe ordered online. 

*

That night, Sander suggested they play a drinking game with Robbe’s other friends over video call. “I haven’t drank in forever Robbe, I think I deserve it and I miss the Brroers!” 

Robbe wasn’t sure. He knew how drinking could effect Sander but he didn’t want to police him on it. “If you’re sure, fine. But we’re only doing beer okay?” Robbe felt like that was a fair compromise. 

“Yeah fine, it’s been months since I’ve had anything so I’m sure I’ll feel it quickly.” Sander said. 

So they grabbed beers and sat in front of their computers next to each other. They joined Jens, Aaron, and Moyo on video call and started the game. 

“Hey! Sander is with us tonight! To what do we owe this honor?” Moyo joked. Robbe had met with the boys on video call a few times now, but this was Sander’s first time playing along. 

“I figured it was time I showed you boys how it’s done.” Sander joked. 

They played a game of Pictionary, if you couldn’t guess the picture you had to drink. Robbe and Sander were on a team and lucky for Robbe, he guessed most of Sander’s drawings. Not so lucky for Sander though because Robbe was hopeless at art, causing sander to drink nearly every round. 

They played for an hour before they all decided to call it a night and hang up. By then, Sander had gone through 3 beers and Robbe could tell he was feeling it. Sander had inched closer to him on the couch, a clingy drunk he was. Once they closed their laptops and put them away Sander was all Robbe’s, and Robbe was glad that Sander trusted him enough to help him through his drunken state. 

“That was so fun.” Sander said, he rested his head on Robbe’s shoulder like he did a few nights before, this time not hesitating to wrap his arms around Robbe’s waist. Robbe had only gone through one beer, not even feeling tipsy in the slightest. The weight of Sander on his side however, made him feel tense and weightless all at once. “I love those boys, they’re so nice.” Sander said, his breath hitting Robbe’s neck as he spoke. 

“They’re the best.” Robbe agreed, he knew he probably wasn’t going to get much more out of sander, so he tried shifting to stand them up. 

“No Robbe, you’re the best.” Sander said, he poked Robbe’s cheek as he said it. He seemed to realize that Robbe was standing up so he grabbed his hand as he asked him, “where are you going?” 

Robbe helped Sander to his feet beside him, they were now stood facing each other holding hands and Robbe wasn’t sure how he got in this position, “I’m taking your drunk ass to bed.” He told him. 

“Noooooo” Sander protested, he took his hands and wrapped them around Robbe’s arms, he then rested his forehead on top of Robbe’s should and Robbe stilled. His body tense, not knowing how to handle this situation. 

Robbe loved to be held, it was one of his things, he always hugged his friends and hoped for hugs back because he loved the connection. Sander hugging him like this made him pause, they had hugged before, plenty of times. So why was this hug making Robbe question everything? 

Finally, Robbe started shifting so he could free one of his arms, he wrapped it around Sander’s waist and slowly started walking him to his room. It was a little bumpy, but eventually they made it, and Robbe managed to sit Sander on the end of his bed. 

Sander gripped the front of Robbe’s shirt, seeming to not want him to leave. Sander confirmed this thought when he said, “will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” 

His face looked so vulnerable when he asked, and Robbe knew he couldn’t say no. He nodded and then helped Sander move up the bed to lay down. Once he was on his side, he pulled at Robbe’s hand again to get him to lay down next to him. 

Never in all of their years of being friends had this happened. They had shared a bed before but not like this, not with Sander pulling robbe in and staring into his eyes, only centimeters away from each other. 

Robbe suddenly couldn’t breathe. He realized that this was it, this was what he wanted all along and he had never even been aware. 

Suddenly, every moment of their time together flashed in front of Robbe’s eyes; their first meeting, the bike rides, the skate parks, the movies, the hugs, the laughing, the crying, the love. All of it, rushed up through Robbe’s lungs and he had to take a big breath to release it. 

He was in love with Sander. He was so unequivocally in love and he didn’t know what to do with that information. Sander was laying in front of him, drunk and smiling at Robbe, and all Robbe wanted to do was bring him even closer. 

He couldn’t understand it. How could this have been right in front of him the entire time? Was this like his feelings for Jens? Was this just a reaction to everything that was happening around him? A pandemic, isolation, feelings, so many feelings. 

He didn’t know what to think, and before he knew it, Sander was leaning forward and bringing their lips together. It was gentle, the kind of kiss that lovers who have been together for years share. 

Robbe’s brain was screaming at him, PULL AWAY, DON’T RUIN THIS! 

But he couldn’t, their lips moved slowly against each other and then Sander’s tongue was asking for permission, and before Robbe could even catch a single breath, they were making out. Sander’s hands gripped Robbe’s waist and pulled him even closer, he pulled and squeezed all while their lips moved together and Robbe was spinning. He had never felt this before, out of all the kisses he had had in his life, never had it been like this. 

This was soul altering, this was life changing, this was the moment of no return, and that is what made Robbe push away. 

Robbe gently removed his lips from Sander’s and Sander’s eyes shot open, he realized what he had done and he immediately pushed himself away as well. 

“Oh my god.” Sander stuttered, “oh my god I’m so sorry Robbe, I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry.” He was becoming frantic, and that wasn’t what Robbe wanted either. 

Robbe sat up, trying to think of how to handle this now. 

They kissed, and Robbe’s entire world view shifted. But it couldn’t be like this, they were best friends, they were roommates, they had known each other for years. They weren’t people that kiss each other. 

“It’s okay.” Robbe told him, he turned towards Sander and rubbed his shoulder, “it’s okay, you’re drunk, you didn’t mean it.” 

Sander didn’t say anything else. He only nodded and laid back down, turning away from Robbe this time. 

Robbe waited, he didn’t want to just leave Sander after that happened. And as much as he wanted to just grab him and kiss him again, he knew that he couldn’t do that either. He couldn’t ruin their friendship over his stupid feelings that finally decided to come to the surface. So he waited, until Sander’s breath evened out and he knew he was finally asleep. 

Robbe gently closed the door behind him as he left and went to his own room. He touched his lips and felt the phantom touch of Sander’s. Robbe laid down, but sleep never came, his thoughts circled around a beautiful boy with bleached hair and emerald eyes. 

*

Morning came and Robbe did his best to forget. The problem was that now he knew, now Robbe had felt Sander’s lips on his own, had felt his grip on his waist pulling him closer, had felt the all encompassing want that he hadn’t even realized was sitting there just under the surface. 

He decided he was going to get up like any normal day in isolation and see how Sander was handling things. Above all else, Robbe was scared. They had taken things to a new level last night and he was terrified that they crossed a line that they could never return from. And what would that mean? Would they stop being friends? Would they be able to work through this without hurting anyone? Would Robbe ever be able to look at Sander as just a friend? Just his best friend that he also wants to kiss. 

It was messy, so beyond messy and the only person Robbe wanted to talk to about everything was Sander. Even through his own battles, he wanted to make sure Sander was okay in all of this. 

So he got up and headed to the kitchen, figuring that Sander would probably be feeling bad from the alcohol and need some sort of pick-me-up. 

However, when Robbe arrived in the kitchen, he saw a note on the counter in Sander’s all too familiar handwriting. 

“Robbe,

I’m sorry about last night. I’m sorry if I messed everything up, I shouldn’t have kissed you, I was drunk but I still shouldn’t have done it. I need a little space to think everything through, I’ll be back later tonight, I’m sorry again. 

X  
Sander”

Robbe set the note down. He had a feeling this might happen. Sander was known to be self destructive when things got scary. Robbe took his phone out of his pocket and checked his location. They had started sharing each other’s locations years ago, just in case they went out to a bar and the other went missing. 

Robbe saw that Sander was at a park, he figured since restaurants and coffee shops weren’t open that Sander would just hide out there until he was ready to come back and face this. 

Robbe decided to give him the space to think, he made himself a coffee and went to sit on the couch and work on school work. Robbe was already pretty far ahead on his assignments but it was the only thing that could take his mind off of everything. 

*

A few hours went by and there was still no sign of Sander, Robbe didn’t check his location again, he didn’t want to feel like he was spying on him. He decided he needed to talk to someone, he couldn’t just sit here with his thoughts swimming all day, so he video called Milan. 

“Robbe! It’s lovely to see you!” Milan was always like a mentor to Robbe, they met at one of Zoe’s parties and connected by chatting over text. He loved Robbe and Sander and he would sometimes join their game nights or invite them over for dinner. 

“Hi Milan, how are things going?” Robbe didn’t want to be selfish and take all of the attention so he figured asking Milan about himself was a good place to start. 

“I’m good, Zoe is getting on my nerves but I’m glad we’re in this together. How are you and Sander holding up?” Milan asked. Robbe paused for a moment and Milan noticed right away, “is everything okay with you two?” 

“Yeah, yeah we’re good. It’s just- just something happened last night and now Sander’s been gone all day and I’m kind of freaking out a little.” Robbe spit out. 

“What happened?” Milan had turned serious now, he was always good for this, knowing when to change his tone to make the other person feel better. 

“Well, we were playing Pictionary with the boys, and it was also a drinking game and Sander got pretty drunk. He had been feeling down the last few days and because he started feeling better he wanted to join on the game. So yeah, he got drunk and he wanted me to stay with him in his bed until he fell asleep and I just thought, of course, you’re drunk and you want someone there for you. But then he kissed me, and the problem is that it was really good, like really good, but how do we move on from that? I pushed him away because he was drunk and he probably didn’t mean it but it meant something to me and now I don’t know what to do.” Robbe took a breath, he never usually spoke that much at one time and he realized that he just spilled a lot to Milan at once. 

Milan paused to think for a moment before he said, “oh Robbe, that is quite the mess.” Robbe nodded, waiting for him to go on. “I’ve known you and Sander for years now and I always thought that you two would figure it out on your own one day.” 

“What are you talking about? Sander is my best friend, he’s never been more than that.” Robbe said. 

“Do you really think that? I’ve seen how he looks at you Robbe, I’m honestly surprised it’s taken you guys this long.” Milan chuckled but Robbe didn’t feel the same humor, he was going through a crisis and Milan was saying he knew this was going to happen?!

“No Milan, he’s always just been my best friend, but now that I’ve kissed him I’m terrified because it’s all I can think about and I just want to do it again, but he left and he’s been gone all day and he probably hates himself for what he did, I just don’t know what to do.” Robbe felt his emotions getting the best of him, he hated how he always cried when he was frustrated. 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay Robbe. I think you just need to tell him this, tell him how it made you feel. I’m not in his head so I can’t speak for Sander, but I bet that he wants to hear you say that, he’s probably just as scared as you are right now.” Milan replied. 

Robbe wiped at his face, the reality of the situation hitting him over and over again. “But how could I have not realized? I’m in love with him and it took him kissing me to realize? That’s not right, I should’ve known before so I could’ve worked through this better.” 

“Robbe, sometimes we tell ourselves things to make our lives easier, I think you’ve known, I just don’t think you were forced to face it before this happened.” Milan was reassuring as always, and Robbe knew he might be right, maybe he has felt this way for a long time, it just seems like a really awful time for him to reach that conclusion. 

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same? Then I’ve fucked it all up, he’s the best Milan, I can’t loose him.” Robbe knew he sounded ridiculous, but it was true. Nothing mattered if he lost Sander. 

“Even if he doesn’t feel the same I don’t think you’ll loose him, he loves you Robbe, and even if that love is only for your friendship I don’t see him walking away because of this, you’ll figure it out.” Milan said. 

Robbe knew deep down that Milan was probably right, they would figure it out if it was the last thing Robbe did. They have to figure it out. 

“Okay, we’ll talk when he gets back. Thank you, you’re the best.” Robbe said. 

“I’m basically your guru right?” Milan smirked at him and Robbe couldn’t help but indulge him.

“Yes. I guess you are.” 

“It’ll be okay Robbe, keep me updated.” 

“Thanks Milan, I will.” And with that they hung up. 

Robbe did feel better after speaking with Milan, but he still worried. This was bigger than anything he had ever had to handle and he was determined to make it go right, whatever the right way was. 

*

A few more hours went by, and finally Sander returned. Robbe was on the couch, where he realized he had spent most of his time in isolation, it was a good thing it was comfortable. 

“Hey” Robbe greeted, Sander looked tired, he had slight bags under his eyes. He wore a cream sweatshirt under his black leather jacket, the weather was starting to warm up but it still got chilly with the breeze. Robbe thought he looked beautiful, even with his messed up hair and rumpled clothes, he was mesmerizing. He took off his shoes and slowly walked towards Robbe. 

“Hey” he said. He sat on the couch, much further than he had on the previous days. He didn’t get comfortable, only fiddled with his fingers and looked at them intently. 

“Sander I-“ Robbe started.

Sander cut him off, “wait, let me say something.” He paused, seemingly thinking over his words carefully. “I need to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t have kissed you, that was wrong, I shouldn’t have acted that way. I care too much about our friendship Robbe, I’m not willing to mess it up.” 

“Sander wait-“

“No Robbe listen, I know I was drunk but I fucked up, I fucked up so bad. I’m so sorry, I should have never put you in that position.” Sander grabbed at his hair, pulling it as he spoke, “I don’t know how to do this, you’re my best friend. And I just went and acted on impulse. I shouldn’t have and I’m so sorry.”

“Sander, please let me say something.” Robbe moved closer to him, he gently rubbed his back, trying to bring him back to him. “Look at me” he continued rubbing his back and used his other hand to turn his face towards him. “Sander, you didn’t fuck everything up, you didn’t.” 

Sander shook his head, “I did, I love you Robbe, so much. And I know you don’t feel the same, and I just can’t jeopardize our friendship, I can’t. I can’t loose you.” Sander starter shaking then, his body moving on it’s own accord. 

Robbe pulled him towards him, he wrapped his arms around him and held him close, still rubbing his back. “Sander, shhhh it’s okay.” He whispered in his ear. “Why do you assume I don’t feel the same?” He asked. 

Sander didn’t answer right away, taking a moment to just look Robbe in the eyes, “what are you saying?” 

Robbe took his face in his hands, holding his face he gently stroked his thumbs over Sander’s cheeks. “I love you Sander Driesen, I’ve always loved you.” 

“But I want more Robbe, I know you love me as a friend but I want more, and I will do anything to stay friends, anything. But I need you to know how I feel.” Sander closed his eyes, tears falling slowly. 

Robbe wiped them away, “Sander, I want the same thing that you do.” He said simply, hoping the sad boy in front of him would finally understand. 

“What do you mean?” Robbe knew Sander was insecure, he knew that he needed things to be explicitly spelled out for him, so he did. 

“I want you, all of you. Sander, I’ve always told you that you are the best thing that ever happened to me and that’s the most true thing I’ve ever said. I couldn’t live without you Sander, I just couldn’t. All day I was worried that you were hating me, that you only kissed me because you were drunk and I was there. But that kiss, oh my god, that kiss made me realize. I knew that I loved you, I knew that you were special, but for some reason I never truly let myself believe it. I was too scared, but you kissed me, and I’ve never in my life felt that, you are the only thing I ever wanted. As my best friend and as more, and now I know for sure, it’s always been you.”

Sander seemed at a loss for words. He just stared at Robbe not knowing what it all meant yet. Robbe leaned towards him, “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” Sander nodded, a small smile growing on his face. 

And they kissed, and it was similar to the night before but also so different. Robbe felt it everywhere, their lips moved slowly at first, cautious, and then Robbed gripped one hand in Sander’s hair and the other around his shoulder. And Sander held Robbe at the hips as he climbed onto his lap. 

Robbe was straddling Sander now and they were kissing, and Robbe couldn’t believe it. After all this time, his best friend, his perfect, beautiful, lovely best friend was kissing him, and Robbe felt light. 

He felt all of the weight from the stress of the day leaving him, this was right, Robbe knew this was always meant to happen. 

Sander shifted on the couch, slowly laying down, bringing Robbe with him. They just held each other, Robbe’s head rested on Sander’s chest, he could hear his heart beating fast, still trying to calm down. They laid like that for maybe an hour, Robbe wasn’t sure, time didn’t seem to matter anymore. 

“I can’t believe this is happening” Sander said, he sounded awestruck, and Robbe could relate, after everything they had been through, somehow they made it here. 

“I’m sorry you were freaking out all day, and I’m sorry I pushed you away last night, I just didn’t want you to regret it because you were drunk.” Robbe said, he drew patterns on Sander’s chest, just admiring this man that he could now call his. 

“Don’t be sorry, I wish I would’ve told you earlier, we could’ve been doing this the whole time.” Sander smiled down at Robbe, Robbe couldn’t resist, he leaned up and captured his lips in a kiss, something he was beginning to realize he was allowed to do now. 

“I’m glad it happened this way.” Robbe said. “I needed you as a friend before all of this.” 

Sander gave him a quick peck, “you’re probably right, I just wish it hadn’t taken us so long” 

Robbe could agree with that, they lazily kissed some more, until it was late and they both grew exhausted, neither having gotten much sleep the previous night. 

“Let’s go to bed.” Sander said. They got up together, now having to navigate what their sleeping arrangement would be. 

“How should we uh-“ Robbe grew shy, he didn’t know why, this was all so fresh, going to bed with Sander? He would’ve never guess that a few days ago. 

“Just come with me, we’ll figure it all out together.” Sander kissed him again, then took his hand and lead him to his room, the same room where everything changed just the night before. 

“Is this what we do now?” Robbe asked, “do we sleep in the same bed?” He felt vulnerable, he knew that he wanted to share a bed with Sander, but he didn’t want things to move too quickly. 

“If you want to, I always sleep better when you’re near by, why do you think I always fall asleep on the couch?” Sander smiled again, Robbe had never considered this, but again his brain seemed to only be supplying him with information in spurts lately. 

“That’s why?” Robbe asked.

“That couch may be comfortable, but I never actually wanted to sleep on it. I slept cause you were there, you help me calm my thoughts, I always dreaded when I would have to go to my room alone.” 

Robbe couldn’t believe Sander was being so open about this now, he couldn’t believe they were so oblivious before. 

“I love you” Robbe said, he was so grateful they got here. 

He took off his pants, leaving him in his t-shirt and boxers. Sander did the same and they climbed under the covers. Sander wasted no time reaching for Robbe and pulling him onto his chest again.

“I love you too” Sander finally replied, seeming to only just remember he never answered Robbe before. “Let’s sleep” 

Robbe only snuggled further into Sander’s side, his face buried in his neck, breathing him in as he felt his own breathing slow, loosing himself to unconsciousness. 

*

Robbe woke up to a weight on his stomach, memories of the day before came flooding back and he realized he was now on his back with Sander laying across his front, they must have shifted in the night. Robbe slowly scooter down to be level with Sander, to be able to look at his peaceful, sleeping face. 

It was similar to when he fell asleep on the couch last week, his mouth slightly parted, his face free of worry. Robbe was overcome with a major sensation of adoration for the man in bed with him. He loved him so much, he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have him like this. 

Slowly, Sander’s eyes began to flutter open, “Hey sleepyhead” Robbe greeted him.

“Hey cutie” Sander replied. Robbe blushed, he figured he was going to have to get used to pet names now. 

Sander leaned towards him, capturing his lips in another kiss, a kiss that started sweet and quickly became more. Sander climbed on top of Robbe, his legs around his hips, and he slowly started a rhythm rocking back and forth. Robbe lifted his hips to meet Sander, both of them taking things to a level they had never gone before. 

Robbe felt himself hardening and he knew Sander was on a similar page, feeling his own erection pulsing against his boxers. Soon, things turned frantic. Both boys rocked and rubbed, the kiss turning sloppy in the mess of moving limbs. 

Before Robbe could even fully wake up, he felt himself slipping close to the edge. He warned Sander and Sander only nodded, not being able to make sensible words anymore. 

Soon they were both coming, high off of each other and the reality that they were together hit Robbe like a train. They loved each other and they were here now, as one. 

*

Morning flew by with lazy kisses and breakfast in bed, they were still navigating this new thing, trying to bridge the gap between friendship and relationship. But they weren’t worried anymore, Robbe knew that this was never going away, he had this for the long haul. 

He called Milan and the brroers later that night to tell them the news, they all were happy for them. Milan said it was all his doing and Aaron said that he thought that they had been together for the last year, overall everything was perfect. 

Robbe laid in Sander’s bed again that night, they had talked and talked all day, sorting out what they wanted and how they were going to move forward. 

“I never knew I could be this happy.” Sander said. Robbe smiled at him and hugged him closer, he didn’t know either.

“You’ve always made me happy, but this just makes sense you know? It’s almost like we have been doing this the whole time.” Robbe replied. 

“Yeah, but this is better” Sander kissed him. “I knew you as my best friend first, and now I get to discover you in an entirely new way, it’s incredible.” 

They had said it all already, but it still made Robbe melt. “I guess if we have the quarantine to thank for one thing...” Robbe smirked, joking with him. 

“No way! I am not giving it the satisfaction of thinking it got us together, we did that all on our own.” Sander said. 

“Okay okay, this was all us.” Robbe said giving in.

“All us baby, from now on it’s always going to be all us.” 

They kissed until they grew tired, resigning themselves to sleeping cuddled up together in the bed that changed everything. 

Robbe and Sander were still the same, they were a force, and they were destined to become more than they had ever dreamed of. It may have taken a pandemic, but one thing was always true, they would always be Robbe and Sander.


End file.
